The first person I talked to after making this decision was him. He did not comment too much, but I could sense something, I am not sure what. I feel that we are both afraid of what I may become after the meditation.
Next, I looked for Tina, and asked if she wants to come with me. To be honest, I wanted to go alone, I did not want any distraction to intervene me during the meditation. However knowing my parents they will Not let me go alone regardless of the fact that Chaiya is so much more safer than KL, I know I better have a company with me. I thought Tina would be a great choice because she's a few years older than me, and she has watched me grow as a person (I got to know her since I was 17). I also did not want to tag someone I know very well along (sorry, girls!) so Tina is perfect. Thankfully, she is very into it and if all goes well, we will be leaving for Thailand on the 26th of December :>
Two nights ago I went to my father's Indian friend's Deepavali open house. As I was looking at the Buddha statue they have in the living room, an elderly woman approached me and we had a nice little conversation about religion and vegetarianism. She said something that moved me: "For every meal you decided to replace meat with vegetables, all animals in the universe clasp their hands and pray to you. You become a respected human being, for your wisdom and kindness." She has been a vegetarian for more than 40 years. Unfortunately, I am not a vegetarian (yet) and I suppose I have not had the opportunity to experience that kind of respect, but it was very moving and perhaps I will have my share of that respect from the universe one day.
And then I talked to my mother's friend, who is also a Buddhist. She is very supportive of the idea but she also reminded me that no matter how strong or independent or mature I think I am, I am, after all, only 22. In terms of life experiences, I have only been through so much. Well, I do not disagree with her but timing wise, I really think there's no any other time better than January '14. It is nice to have that little reminder with me though.
Just yesterday, I met up with Seeyin , who is essentially the person who inspired me to pack my bags and go. Okay fine, we spent half the time talking about boys, but I can sense the light out of her, it's a form of energy that shines through her eyes when she talks. She was very encouraging and fun to talk with.For two strangers to talk non-stop for more than 3 hours, I suppose that's the power of fate. We also talked about life and future careers. As I have mentioned in the previous post, I do not know what I want to do. I told her about my lecturer's story in Cambodia, and it's kind of comforting to know she has more or less the same trouble (yes, I am not alone bahaha) and who knows? We might come up with something together in the future ;)
Oh, I also booked the flight tickets to Cambodia! Also had a nice conversation with Nick, my best friend (who is going to pay for my food in Cambodia yezzah). I told him about my wish to help people living in rural areas to improve their life. He made a similar statement to what Seeyin told me, and I could not forget what they said...
"For many people living in the rural areas, they are perfectly comfortable with the way life is. For these people, water comes from the river, food comes from the soil, and they build homes with whatever that is offered to them. You think you are helping them by giving what you think of as 'basic goods', but perhaps you are not. In a way, by helping them you may be doing the wrong things, you may be intervening their very own systems of life. Not all good intentions are good. Not everyone wants the help you think they deserve."
For some reasons, people have been asking me this one question I try to avoid:
"What is your purpose of life?"
hah, I do not know.
top and skirt from H&M
Clutch from Topshop
Sandals from Vincci
I have not been wearing any accessories for quite a while.
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